Wednesday, 30 December 2009

11: 'Love at first fight?'

So that is how I met Craig.
Not the most ideal start to a relationship. We didn't have a cute story that I could repeat to my future Grand kids or even my mother. She thought we'd met in the supermarket. Apparently fighting over the last chocolate fudge cake, one of my vices and since I don't mess about when it comes to food, he had given in (obviously) and I had won. In return he had won my heartfelt gratitude and a date – the lucky bugger! Or so the story goes, at least that's the PG Walt Disney version of it.

I couldn't imagine telling my mother, that when I had first met Craig David (I still snicker whenever I have to say his full name, which is why I don't say it often.) I had been fooled into thinking that he wouldn't attack me at first chance.


I used to be able to say that I'm glad. Happy that I didn't panic and react without due care and caution. I was a rational female. Logically considered my options before acting. Act in haste repent at leisure? Not me. I am able to successfully say that I now don't jump and scramble for the proverbial can of mace, whenever he kisses me unexpectedly. Now, well- I kind of like it. Dare I admit- even occasionally crave it.

Rightly I should be happy to live 'happily ever after' with Craig. Sometimes I even think that I began to date Craig because I had to. No one forced me. Yet I had to, seen what life option number 2 had to offer and determined that that wasn't going to be me. Nothing has gone according to plan. I was meant to meet the perfect guy and marry him. Have 2.5 children and make my mother happy. Right the wrongs of the past. Be on the correct side of the fairy tale.

I grew up on the wrong side of the fairy tale. No 'once upon a time' for me. I learnt first hand and the hard way that life more often than not is far from easy. My absentee father, also displayed the fact that I was born on the wrong side of the sheet. Lived on the wrong street, in the wrong area. Went to a diffent school and never had the right clothes!

If you stay single too long people think 'lesbian' no one will say it, being PC and everything. And if they're not thinking lesbian, than they think something is wrong with you. Too picky. Or she doesn't dress herself right. Or if she walks around with that screw face how can she expect anyone to want her, look at her she doesn't even want herself!

Relationships. They're messy, but that's life!

No one gets it all. Not 100% anyway. I had 90% and greed led me to crave the other 10%. if I'm not careful I'll end up with nothing. No one gets it all but daily we take gambles. If I had made a life plan and followed it maybe I wouldn't be in this situation. To be involved in a love triangle or as the case may be a love square would not have made the list. Who has that on their 'must do before 60' list and if its place there where would it rank?

Expectations! Reality! They don't always match up. If this was a fairy tale, maybe. But I am my own hero, and this is my own story. I don't need to be saved. Craig did that once. I can do it now, it'll be all right. After all it has to be.


CHEAT: Verb - Informal. to be sexually unfaithful Headline Animator